For those sports enthusiasts who have ignored your wives and kids to indulge in the dullness of the 2010 World Cup, congrats on living up to.....well.....living up to nothing!!
So let's assess this first round of the World Cup. Europe came in with all the bravado of a cross-dresser at the Grammy's and as per Europe's style re-established the fact that football aka soccer is not an activity they are even powerhouses in. Prior to the opening ceremonies, all one could hear from their beer-belly, lounge chair fans was the decisive control England, Spain, Germany, France, Italy and the rest of the EU clan would have in the tournament. As we now can see, European teams are dropping faster than the Euro. France, 3 games in, DRAW, DRAW, LOSE! England, DRAW (and to those lowly in-bred yanks at that), DRAW! Spain, Win, LOSE!!!
Anyone claiming this to be a competitive sport obviously has been fellated one too many times in their own backyard, pick-up games or was born with many lobes of their brain missing. It is my judgement that my son's team of 10 year olds could compete in this arena and probably win the World Cup. Kool-Aid would have to be a sponsor, of course. Maybe, for the case of world peace, they should just not keep score and enjoy the activity for what it is. May as well because it seems no one can score anyway.
Other more exciting sports, winning is decisive and powerhouse teams act like powerhouse teams. Apparently in soccer aka football, male sensitivity and being in touch with their female sides is the only prevailing activity in which any one team is excelling at. Crying in soccer aka football is prevalent by players and coaches alike. Of course, I would cry too if I knew I was gonna be jailed or executed by my country if I didn't win so I suppose one should let this "crying" thing slide!
And who da' thunk.........those lowly, soccer stupid, Americans have scored more goals than England! After the 1-1 draw against the USA, most soccer aka football fans lost their voices and the silence made many of us wonder if England had ceased to exist as a country. Naturally, those voices reappeared when Slavania was up 2-0 against the USA but......ya.... 2-2 DRAW! All the shit talk about the USA went back into the epiglottis when England vs Algeria was a 0-0 DRAW!!!
HEADLINE: Algeria frustrate toothless England (apparently, scoreless, winless, voiceless all would apply here as well)
Yes...I think the jury can bring the verdict. The World vs Soccer......GUILTY!!!!
Guilty of the heinous crime of being non-competitive!
Guilty of being pointless!!
Guilty of being boring!
400+ years of playing this game and you all still can't score! Now football aka soccer fans love to ARGUE that defense is the key to this activity but....DUH!!!!! you still have to score to win. 0-0 is NOT A WIN!! The point of any sport or activity is to WIN!!!
As a side note, TV viewer ship of the Super Bowl (real football) was 105 million. And that was for JUST ONE GAME! Total TV viewer ship of ALL the first round world cup games is still below 100 million! Need I say more?
FOOTBALL aka SOCCER......YOU'VE BEEN SLAPPED AGAIN! but the funny things is that we can slap you around forever!!!
Oh...and since we don't want David Beckham crying.....DAVID.....WE SLAPPED YOU TWICE!!
So let's assess this first round of the World Cup. Europe came in with all the bravado of a cross-dresser at the Grammy's and as per Europe's style re-established the fact that football aka soccer is not an activity they are even powerhouses in. Prior to the opening ceremonies, all one could hear from their beer-belly, lounge chair fans was the decisive control England, Spain, Germany, France, Italy and the rest of the EU clan would have in the tournament. As we now can see, European teams are dropping faster than the Euro. France, 3 games in, DRAW, DRAW, LOSE! England, DRAW (and to those lowly in-bred yanks at that), DRAW! Spain, Win, LOSE!!!
Anyone claiming this to be a competitive sport obviously has been fellated one too many times in their own backyard, pick-up games or was born with many lobes of their brain missing. It is my judgement that my son's team of 10 year olds could compete in this arena and probably win the World Cup. Kool-Aid would have to be a sponsor, of course. Maybe, for the case of world peace, they should just not keep score and enjoy the activity for what it is. May as well because it seems no one can score anyway.
Other more exciting sports, winning is decisive and powerhouse teams act like powerhouse teams. Apparently in soccer aka football, male sensitivity and being in touch with their female sides is the only prevailing activity in which any one team is excelling at. Crying in soccer aka football is prevalent by players and coaches alike. Of course, I would cry too if I knew I was gonna be jailed or executed by my country if I didn't win so I suppose one should let this "crying" thing slide!
And who da' thunk.........those lowly, soccer stupid, Americans have scored more goals than England! After the 1-1 draw against the USA, most soccer aka football fans lost their voices and the silence made many of us wonder if England had ceased to exist as a country. Naturally, those voices reappeared when Slavania was up 2-0 against the USA but......ya.... 2-2 DRAW! All the shit talk about the USA went back into the epiglottis when England vs Algeria was a 0-0 DRAW!!!
HEADLINE: Algeria frustrate toothless England (apparently, scoreless, winless, voiceless all would apply here as well)
Yes...I think the jury can bring the verdict. The World vs Soccer......GUILTY!!!!
Guilty of the heinous crime of being non-competitive!
Guilty of being pointless!!
Guilty of being boring!
400+ years of playing this game and you all still can't score! Now football aka soccer fans love to ARGUE that defense is the key to this activity but....DUH!!!!! you still have to score to win. 0-0 is NOT A WIN!! The point of any sport or activity is to WIN!!!
As a side note, TV viewer ship of the Super Bowl (real football) was 105 million. And that was for JUST ONE GAME! Total TV viewer ship of ALL the first round world cup games is still below 100 million! Need I say more?
FOOTBALL aka SOCCER......YOU'VE BEEN SLAPPED AGAIN! but the funny things is that we can slap you around forever!!!
Oh...and since we don't want David Beckham crying.....DAVID.....WE SLAPPED YOU TWICE!!
